*sOLitUdE* _____//*~in.my.own.fairytale.~*

Thursday, June 29, 2006

after cip at hospice, we went to orchard, heerens to take neoprint!! hahaz.. first time 3 of us take.. i think 3 ppl take neoprint the spacing the best le.. or 4 also can... hahaz..

namesnamesnames..

see no evil
hear no evil
speak no evil

then after tt me n tiff continue walking at far east.. walk until our legs wanna break.. then walk back to heerens to see flesh imp clothes, but to our disappointment.. the whole day we only bgt socks.. im so sad.. hahaz.. waste of time and energy! bleaghz..

11:11 PM; unforgotten. Y

haish.. ppl.. if we do not get another 5000 bucks by sat.. [yes the money must come in] we are pulling out from esplanade and there will be no etude 31... so please try to sell more tickets.. n pay for ur frens first.. im so freaking worried..

physics was a nitemare. started tearing after the paper.. first time i totally gave up on a paper.. closed it with 15 mins to spare. did like only 1/4 of the paper..and wad i did do, was without sense..

phy confirm F9 le...
math maybe O8..
chem maybe E..
bio maybe E..i hope..

worse come to worse.. i may get FOFF.. its a gd hint for me...

9:58 PM; unforgotten. Y

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

ive never felt so unprepared for an exam before... im confident of getting horrendous grades this time round. but the worse part is that i noe i only have myself to blame, cuz i nv study hard enough. just 2 days.. n i already feel like shit. for math n bio, most ppl said it was ok.. then there i was feeling quite sure i was gna get E ad below.. especially math.. its so demoralising.. but the worse feeling is to noe then u din put in effort.. the feeling of noeing that it was an easy [or relatively easier] paper.. but becuz u din study and therefore ure gna get shit grades.. sucks like mad.. argh..

and so.. after etude.. im gna end up with tuition for 3 subjects.. joy to my world.. but i guess i need it.. stupid me..

8:25 PM; unforgotten. Y

Friday, June 23, 2006

ahhh i cant wait for cts to be over!! i wanna go shopping!! i wanna buy alot of things.. i wana buy:

ken hirai's cd
wang zi bian qing wa vcd
devil beside you vcd!
[act i alr watch most of it alr.. but aiyar see how]
buy clothes
buy present
take neoprint!!!

duno if shd buy junyang's cd anot.. i think he's songs the nicest among the 3 of the superstars who have albums..

and we had a deal [tiffy] we must go make use of the last remaining days of GSS to make studying for cts worthwhile can.. cts!! quick be gone!!!

11:31 AM; unforgotten. Y

aiyar duno why that day the chi quote cames out as gibberish.. anw in hanyu pin yin its

zhe4 shi4 jie4 shang4 di2 que4 you3 ren2 chun2 xin1 xiang3 rang4 ni3 nan2 guo4,
dan4 shi4 wo3 xiang3 shuo1 de4 shi4,
zhe4 shi4 jie4 shang4 ye2 you3 ren2 yin1 wei4 ni3 de4 nan2 guo4 er2 nan2 guo4

hmmz and yesterday while taking my break watching tv.. i suddenly had this thot..
ppl hu feel sad or paranoid [if sad becuz smone close died or sth then different story]
are ppl with too much time..

cuz seriously if u had time to worry and be sad.. means u had nth else to do rite?
cuz these few days.. as i desperately try to mug.. i realise i dun have time to be sad.. only gt time to feel tired.. hahaz.. means last time i gt too much time.. and maybe energy also.. =X

11:30 AM; unforgotten. Y

Thursday, June 22, 2006

这世界上的确有人纯心想让你难过, 但是我想说的是,这世界上也有人因为你的难过而难过.
-源伊[恶魔在身边]

hahaz i think thats really nice..

3:49 PM; unforgotten. Y

tiffany wang!!! hahaz u pigggggg.. haish.. but anw im taking a break now so oh wellz..

Fav colour: BLUE! seasonal liking for orange/yellow..
Fav food: cha shu ramen from rangaya
Fav song: orient express/memory for band
Fav movie: matrix
Fav sport: basketball
Fav season: winter.. hahaz ive yet to touch snow tho..
Fav day of e week: Friday. entrance to a great weekend!
Fav ice-cream flavour: erps all? haagen daz's strawberry cheesecake.
Fav book: erm if is comics then cardcaptop sakura. in my earlier years it was 3 billy goats.. wahha
Fav cartoon: anime! oh and xmen..

9 currents:
current mood: pessimistic
current song: belle - beauty and the beast
current book: not book but nuclear physics notes
current subject studying: physics. bleahzz...
current thought: im so going to flunk my CTs
current time: 1:48pm
current toenail colour: white.
current boyfriend: winnie the pooh
current wish: fastforward to end of the year and go on a trip w my friends! japan preferably

7 Firsts:
1st best friends: natalie [p1], yiyou shermeen steph yingying [sec3]
1st crush: this guy from my church, howie
1st movie: seriously i cant rem..jurassic park?
1st piercing: sec 1 or 2. i cant really remember
1st handphone: Nokia 6150 in p6
1st sport: basketball
1st pet: dog. german shephard =X and i was just a baby.

Lasts:
Last cigarette: never.
Last drink: milo. i haven wash the cup =X
Last car ride: monday.
Last crush: erm smone from aqua.
Last movie seen: xmen3
Last phone call: mummy!
Last sms: weichong.. [sry for the trouble]
Last song played: stephanie sun's wo ye hen xiang ta

Have you evers:
Dated one of ur best friends: nopes..
Broken e law: oopz like tiffy, is drinking counted?
Been arrested: nope
Skinny-dipped: nope =S
Been on TV: hahaz ya when ny was featured on the news once..but is not those got talk one.
Kissed someone u din noe: for wad???

5 things you're wearing: tshirt shorts undergarments earring hairband
4 things ive done today: mug, eat, drink, sms, this thing..
3 things I can hear rite now: the fan, tiffany's blog song, this noisy vehicle/machine downstairs
2 things u cant live without: my hp and laptop
Things u do when ur bored: sleep, watch tv, read anime, on my laptop, tok to my soft toys waha

5 people to do this quiz: zhiru, shuyu, khris, emmi, yiyou.

1:41 PM; unforgotten. Y

Monday, June 19, 2006

for this entry im going to be completely honest..

wellz on sat we had our last band prac before common test in the hall.. it sounded better apparently due to the echo.. but seriously.. becuz of the echos, i can hear almost everything.. i think we are so not up to standard... its quite worrying.. i dowana go esplanade n embarrasse ourselves and disgrace the name NJCSB. we need alot more practice actually.. for all the songs we are playing.. i dun think there is even one song that sounds really good.. will we rise to the occasion? now i kind of understand why mr ho n mr leong are so worried.. n maybe skeptical.. sighs..

for the percussion emsemble, stinky garbage.. i actually enjoyed it.. but like as the adults said.. if it could be faster and sharper, it will be alot better.. maybe they can use the difference in tone of the dustbins too.. like the bass.. i thot i saw pans in the bandroom but i cant rem if they used them.. and can use keys too.. my sister went london and she caught STOMP's performance n she said it was really good.. they even used matchboxes..
the stageband.. hmmz.. i think they need to stop thinking wad they're doing is stpd.. cuz the moe they feel so, the stupider they look.. please enjoy it la! while ure doing the cute stuff.. n smore its a light piece.. dun be stone!! n the dance needs more practice too.. like seriously..

anw the more disheartening thing that happened was that one jnr..disappointed me like alotalot.. i thot that person was quite a suitable candidate for the coming elections.. but that person's attitude that day made me totally reconsider.. if the exco's going to have such selfish ppl.. its bound to fail..

and lastly.. mr leong broke the news that our ticket sales are really bad..we only sold 800 over so far.. and we need to sell 500 more.. if not.. there will not be etude 31 and we have to do refunding.. great.. just wad we need to make our reputation.. i think some ppl are just not making an effort to sell the tickets.. its was told that each person was supposed to sell arnd 20... i mean there are classmates, exclassmates, family, church frens, other frens.. dun tell me cant even sell 10??? its quite irritating when ppl just cant be bothered.. its UR concert.. make an effort to make it a success..argh..

i duno wads wrong with our band..discipline? responsibility? initiative? experience? maybe we're lacking in all of that.. i wonder if anyone sees the state of our band and worries too.. do the rest of the badn actually think we are playing well? if not, do they do anything abt it? aish.. all these thoughts are perpetually flooding my mind..

7:58 PM; unforgotten. Y

Thursday, June 15, 2006

hmmz today went to do cip at hospice at novena.. teach them how to make little animals with used tennis balls and wool and buttons etc.. quite fun!! n they're bunch of nice ppl.. u cudnt even tell that they had such little time left.. i think the experience i had while doing cip in an old folks home in sec 3 did help.. anw the lady in charge of the ALIVE programme talked to us.. and she said then those admitted to hospice actually have abt only 12 mths left.. but becuz they interact with the ppl and volunteers, they really experience true happiness and sincerity so much so they live for extended years... and also many of them acquire a positive attitude in life.. which helps them live longer n healthier too... thats nice..

she also said sth abt loners.. many loners may actually say they dowan ppl to care abt them, or hide in solitude.. but actually, they want the company.. its not abt being able to click and talk straight away, but its abt knowing that if there comes a time where he is ready to tell his story, therei IS someone there.. u can see it in their eyes that they long to express their grievances and unhappiness.. but stimes they are not ready yet. cuz they havent accepted the fact... n i think this is very true.. it applies not only for hospice patients.. but for everyone of us i think.. not only loners also..

anw.. sm fren hu i haven seen for sm time told me a really gd news today.. im so happy!! u noe hu u are... weEz.. *hugs* so happie for u.. hahaz...

8:12 PM; unforgotten. Y

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

dammit!!! just as i ws feeling happy! sth bad had to happen.. melvin!!!!!!!! im sosososososososo sorry!!! i broke the cup u gave.. im so sorry.. i haven even gt to use it once.. ahhh pls dun get angry!!! its all my fault.. why did i even forget to bring it home.. brgt it upon myself... nv shd have trusted anyone else.. soso sry..

10:27 PM; unforgotten. Y

hahaz i think im so made for paparazzi.. wellz.. today's featured article is joanne's shirt design! info provided by timothy, picture provided by van! this is how we pass our time if we are seriously damn bored. we gossip. wahahha.

Disclaimer. we do not take credit for publicising this story for this is not a true story and it is not meant to drive joanne crazy.. any similarities are not intentional =X

anw this is our dearest joanne's shirt design for today!

yeps, as u can see.. it says.. ARRESTED. to live. to love. to lead. and with a great pink arrow pointing to her right. n if u refer to the next diagram..

yes.. so thus.. to live for? to love who? to lead a life with ? hmm? pink shirt? coincidence? thank timothy for pointing out the arrow.. hahaz.. ok la its seriously just laughs.. is we tok nonsense de!! n apparently he q mean to her! everytime she cough then he will pull up his collar and ask her go away! so means...

and our last surprise for today.. poor enghong was so tired.. he fell aslp.. on samuel.. i think its such a comical picture.. one totally knocked out due to exhaust.. the other totally knocked out by stoning.. wahahaz.. thanks shermin for the contribution..

9:35 PM; unforgotten. Y

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

hmmz.. arrived at this conclusion the other day but din get down to blogging abt it.. wellz ive given up on having a crush on tt person.. cuz recently i started observing more stuff abt NJ guys.. plus i see timothy lidat.. oopz sry.. not personal attack but its just a very concrete example ba? anw so then it reinforced the conclusion tt me and my grp of frens came to q some time ago.. that JC guys are seriously q immature.. no offence.. but i think they're still too playful ba.. my sister used to tell me this also.. hahaz.. but now i get wad she means.. i also think that maybe it isnt fair to arrive at this conclusion or all NJ guys just by my observations of some ppl but seriously if u compare to the j3.. i think we can alr see some differences.. actually is our entire batch.. smhow the difference in maturity is quite significant.. oh wellz.. ehh but wait dun get me wrong... i think they make great frens! im not saying that they arent nice.. just that in my pt of view.. aiyar.. i duno how to say.. nvm.. ok this is yet another incoherent entry.. pretend i din say anything..

10:55 PM; unforgotten. Y

Saturday, June 10, 2006

thanks to the following ppl.. ive finally cooled down...
melvin [cj]
steph dear
shuyu
natalie
zhiyong
xinran

haish.. finally blown off all my steam.. i think its also thanks to all the food i stuffed down my throat in anger.. anw.. ok.. maybe i dun hate band.. but all the nitty gritty stuff that is entwined in my band life makes me feel so stimes.. anw.. mr ho is jsut stressed that we arent playing well.. and its at esplanade.. its understandable that he's being blunt.. he's just another old man.. so some sarcasm from him is expected.. and moreover, he needs to blow off steam too! therefore.. some poor scapegoats have to exist! n therefore maybe thats my purpose of existence..

yes.. vanessa please remember that..

9:24 PM; unforgotten. Y

i desperately need help in my studies.. i dun understand how to apply charge n field.. and i haven started on bio n math.. gd job well done.. i dowana go for band! i dowan i dowan i dowan! i hate it..ahhh crap...
but i have to.. sighs.. bleah! i wanna cry!! i duno if its cuz i hate band or cuz i feel guilty hating band or cuz i dun hate band.. sht this sucks!!

ive been getting from bad to worse.. i feel my rebellious nature coming back at full force.. but i really cant control my emotions from showing.. especially since this year.. if im angry.. my super black face shows, if im sad, i'll just start crying.. this sucks.. and because of this i offended so many ppl.. argh i hate myself.. i hate everything.. like everything.. except my soft toys... basically it wud be right to call me psycho or violent now cuz i desperately feel the need to scream and shout n punch sth..
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

save me..

lousy feeling for someone lousy.
loser.
sucks.
get lost!
forever.

11:30 AM; unforgotten. Y

Friday, June 09, 2006

i really want to shout this out aloud.. like really.. but due to the constraints.. i cant.. and thus.. i can only express it here..

i hate him i hate im i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him ihate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him!
i so hate him.

there! finally.. tudsip ninocetasider whos off who contan dunsternads taht ton vereoney si sa ledgeprivil as mhi. siadeb dan khint eh wonks it lal. mi repus sipdes! tub i tujs heva ot letarote rof ratehon neo thomn. leapse leph em Lord.. who cine if a rac loudc tusj nur em vero...

7:30 PM; unforgotten. Y

Thursday, June 08, 2006

enghong acting cool.. [im surprised saliva din come flowing out from his bass clarinet]

enghong looking afar..

enghong being a total ah beng..

enghong the contractor!

enghong looking at J.....! look so mesmerised! >.<

8:05 PM; unforgotten. Y

gangster enghong

enghong trying to act like cloud

no words needed

apri me n timo.

8:04 PM; unforgotten. Y

some of my Haydn groupies.. we kinda all look crazy with our hair in a mess.. hahaz..

we were dead bored since the movie screwed up.. so we went to the band room.. and started practising haha.. pls look at the time on the clock..

my long lost twin! thats shermin.. hahaz or so they say..

timo and me! hahaz.. he's such a little kid.. this was taken slightly before he started to serenade the banana tree..

joanne and the euphos! timo looks pissed.. hahaz apri nv smile properly!! i look like im biting my tongue... i hate to say this but joanne looks best in the photo =P

7:38 PM; unforgotten. Y

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

yay just came back from band camp.. quite fun! hahaz but i just like the idea of camps.. time to bond n stuff.. heEz.. anw.. i think the band pracs during the camp was far more productive then wad we have usually.. maybe cuz we are starting to feel the sense of urgency after the repeated reminders tt we suck q badly rite now..

anw.. exco games were q ok la.. i think its a trend for some of the "ghosts" to be late every year.. hahaz last year was esther n hanjie.. still can rem.. we were poking them smore.. hahaz..but the thing was.. when we were planning the games.. we were so scared.. but when we were playing the game and actually at the venues.. we weren't really scared.. hahaz n its actually quite fun to scare ppl.. i very happy!! ppl say i look scary! hahaz as in.. means my make up and costume was a success.. my acting too.. hahahaz.. poor kirby.. everyone say he nt scary.. cuz he look too angelic le.. like sm priest lidat.. until he decided to fall splat on the ground.. scared one of the first few groups.. THEN sm stpd rich woman came to complain n threaten to call the police... and it was only 8 plus then.. i mean.. u noe that ure beside a school.. u dun expect it to be all quiet also rite.. then her tone was disgusting.. she sounded EXACTLY like mrs yeo.. irritated me even more..

anw.. i think me nat dency khris very pro-ded.. aft break camp, we go curry wok eat alr go to ps watch xmen hahaz.. carrying all our barang barang with us can.. but i think we very lucky.. the 174 came moderately fast.. when we reach ps.. the lift came immediately, we check out ticket box, gt a time slot at 4 [we reach at arnd 410] then we rushed in, with time to watch commercials can.. then when me n nat went to take bus, the 124 came within 5 mins.. hahaz.. not badz..

anw.. here's a video clip of timothy serenading to a banana tree.. i think he too high le hahaz..

7:12 PM; unforgotten. Y

Saturday, June 03, 2006

just read shuheng's blog.. saw the video of the results to our syf last year.. i miss that feeling.. i hardly feel that anymore..i feel like we're despised..seriously how to play well when we dun enjoy the songs.. even apri said "last year, all the songs were fun.. this year..." wellz...

but i shant put all the blame on him.. we really do suck rite now.. the practices at nie.. allowed me to hear wad i usually cudnt.. forgive me for wad im going to say.. but its just wad i hear..

firstly.. the trombones actually dun sound too bad..[compared to wad i hear in the band room] the clarinets dun sound tgt actually, tho they do in the band room [maybe its just these 2 pracs] the euphos are seriously out of tune.. the bassoons are blowing w all their might but its q soft compared to the band, the horns sound the same in both places.. the basses.. not in tune also.. then the tone also q different..same as euphos.. the trumpets.. i duno izit becuz wilson wasnt here today.. but it sounded q bad.. duno if its their rhythmic sense not stable or they just dun dare to play, or the note just dun come out right..in any case.. we are NOT ready..

haish.. anw.. thank u enghong for letting us put our instrus in ur hse and agreeing to bring them to sch on mon for us.. thanks alot really.. oh.. n ur golden retriever's really cute..

7:39 PM; unforgotten. Y

Thursday, June 01, 2006

oh n i fgt to blog abt sth.. im starting to think that __ is getting very rude and mean towards us.. i mean.. of cuz he deserves respect and all that.. but i really think stimes he doesnt consider our feelings and the things he says really hurts and maybe pisses ppl off.. stimes thot the comments are not aimed at me.. i still feel the sting.. cant imagine how the others feel.. anw.. to all those who noe wad im tokking abt.. dun take it to heart!! ure worth more than wad he says.. maybe stimes our being noisy n hyper just puts him off.. but jiayous anw.. =]

there was this quote "Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching." which i think means enjoy wad ure doing, give it ur all and have confidence in urself.. and to sum it up, "play [ur instru] like u've never screwed up before..for all the world to hear the voice of ur soul" [eh thats not part of the quote.. i just crapped it up..]

8:22 PM; unforgotten. Y

recently.. the ASECK has encounted a change in their scandal partners... which i really find amusing.. wahhaz... wellz.. i shant name ppl..

we shall follow A-S-E-C-K.. hahaz well the A... altho the original scandal still exists.. but there's now another fellow third-c-er who has joined in the fun.. hahaz.. n they arent too bad a match as well.. =] hahaz..

then theres S.. with his all new admirer who's almost drooling over him, going all puppyish "S is soo cute/lihai!!!" wahaahah.. and i can safely say she's quite crazy over him.. and everyone is trying to destroy his life..including me. waha

E now has sooo many scandals sprouting and this is fun... hahaz and they both happen to be in the same section.. when one izen arnd.. we'll just scandal him with tt one.. hahaz tho sth happen on wed which makes us change the target scandal to the one closer to home.. hahaha..i mean they were so aimei.. him taking her specs off her face and adjusting it for her.. wad can i say.. theres a cause for suspicion.

erm.. actually C scandal haven change la.. but he's no longer getting whacked.. which MAY suggest progress?

K.. hahaz.. i think its more or less stable le!! or we all hope at least.. just realised most of the ppl who get liked in band are from tt section.. well maybe they have charisma >.<>

ah wellz.. scandals are fun.. oh btw.. edo was arnd when we were discussing this.. so gd luck la ASECK.

anw.. our j1s are so adorable.. hahaz played bball with them ytd.. so fun..tho i think they think i very noisy n rough waha.. nvm.. anw.. the j1s also so many scandals.. lets see.. joe, nic, tim, ben got scandals le.. hahaz. the rest i not sure.. but i bet surely have sth one la.. hahaz.. just a matter of time before we get the news..ohoh i heard smone say kakeru is cute! wahaz. shant say hu..

7:47 PM; unforgotten. Y