*sOLitUdE* _____//*~in.my.own.fairytale.~*

Saturday, October 29, 2005

hahaz today went to cine w nat.. then we ate kobayshi followed by a cone of ice cream each. i treat her k! see she so broke hahaz.. anw.. she ordered single scoop choc mint i ordered single scoop rocky road.. she was on the fone when the guy was scooping so only i was looking n i had the shock of my life.. first he took a super big scoop [consisting of two premade balls of ice cream] n dumped it on the e cone then i was alr eye popping out liao.. so i said "oh we ordered single scoop" cuz i thot he heard double.. then guess wad? he said with a stone face "i noe.." then i started laughing.. n i felt bad laughin at him so i turned away.. n according to nat when i was turning away.. he dumped yet another scoop of ice cream on her cone.. n so basically her ice cream looked like a christmas tree la.. it was so huge i was so sure it was gna fall off agn.. hahaz. then mine was not as bad but still huge as well..

then after a few bites.. it was still looking lidat.. which is alr like half the size [esp for nats]
hahaz super funny la.. i think the shop hire him will kui ben like mad lor..

10:19 PM; unforgotten. Y

Friday, October 28, 2005

hahaz duno why i chose tt title.. but realise it was nearing the end of october n october is a totally cool piece. eric whitacre rox..

anw i think its really amazing how a existence of a single person can totally affect the lives of others. i mean it in every way possible..

1. u can like a person so much that everything that has to do w him/her can affect ur mood.. like tt person's mood, who tt person toks to, what tt person says to u, whther that person even toks to u or if that person even notices u..

2. u can be so irritated w smone that the sight of tt smone totally kills ur mood for anything. like when that person just says a single word.. u feel like rolling ur eyes or snuffing him or her..

3. u can be such gd frens with smone that when u dun tok to him/her, u feel guilty or feel that sth is wrong..subconsciously.. or maybe there are so many things u want to tell ur gd fren.. but there just doesnt seem to be the chance for sm weird reason. or maybe when u see that ur gd fren is obviously enjoying himself/herself with other ppl.. u feel kinda sad.. may it be becuz u noe ure nt a gd fren.. or u long for being part of that..

4. u can be missing out on everything u wanted cuz of one other person hu is better than u in everyway.. or at least all the ways that involves wad u want / desire..

ah well.. anw.. i shall once agn mention my tangent-like-mood-graph.. my mood as u can alr see.. is quite extreme.. i can be super high... then drop to depression.. then maybe abit of normal mood.. then super high agn.. well it was like that agn.. felt really lonely+worried+tired+sad for the whole late morning till afternoon.. din really feel like toking as well.. with the band fund raising concert, op and some personal problems as well.. it gets rather tiring..

i felt really alone in nj or rather in my class..smhow or rather..i still feel rather displaced stimes.. i saw nat going off with her class.. so i thot she was going for spa.. so i din sms her or anything.. then i thot of yulei.. but i bet she was with her classmates n pao.. so i din bother her too.. then i really felt tt there was no one else.. no shoulder to lend me.. tears kpt forcing their way up.. but i controlled..

i miss the times in secondary sch.. where we cud just hug smone n cry.. yinger..steph.. yiyou.. sher..val and yanzhen..i really miss u guys..i noe u guys have ur own lives now.. but i noe u guys will always be there.. it sort of comforted me to think of all the nice things u guys said to me the last time i was really sad..=] u guys rock..sigh..i wish i cud be with u all.. why did i come nj..

8:33 PM; unforgotten. Y

Monday, October 24, 2005

smiling thru the tears. smiles which hide the pain.

ouch.. nv thot it cud hurt tt much...

8:22 PM; unforgotten. Y

haish im damn bored.. in school doing op.. seriously i shudnt have came to sch so early.. if it werent for morning assembly.. wad a waste of time. my tech run slot is 1345 la.. kaoz.. hahaz.. but nvm..

anw last nite was toking to a couple of ppl.. realise alot of ppl are u relationship problems.. but well tts part n parcel of life.. then smone was saying.. the world is going nuts.. everyone is going nuts.. n tt smone din wanna enter this aspect of life yet.. hahaz first time i heard this kinda tone from tt smone.. sort of denial.. but well.. everyone will experience de lo.. u like smone.. smone else like u.. sm smone else will like tt person.. vicious cycle..

haish then came a topic of.. wad is the best way to reject smone n not hurt him/her.. yeps.. shd u be really definite n say no u dun like tt person n let tt person get hurt n si xin once n for all? or shd u consider his/her feelings n leave it hanging lidat..n let the person have false hopes.. seriously i wud rather hear it.. cuz if not i will kp thinking abt it..hahaz oh ya.. then i heard a story from smone then q funny.. cuz i nv expected it..

now like alot of secrets going between ppl.. hahaz.. n alot of scandals too.. fun but dangerous.

anw i told smone else another story or rather qn.. if there is a guy let say called mark.. n a gal called mary.. then mark contracted sm terminal disease n was alr dying.. then both of them actually like each other.. so shud mark let mary noe that he likes her even tho he's dying.. or do sth to let her hate him.. so that she wun feel sad when he dies cuz she doesnt noe.. ya.. so wad do u think? eh i hope ppl will tag n reply me abt this.. cuz i wanna noe how most ppl think...

haish anw i think i really cant fang xia.. as much as i want to.. n smhow everyone just thinks tt its tt easy.. guys are really asses la.. they shd really stop being so nice to gals unnecessarily..

hmm then.. i cant wait for the hol stuff to come.. hahaz so many chalets n trips concerts n all the fun stuff.. still got a date w my sis! haven take neoprint w her yet..

anw to my dear fren.. pls dun be so sad.. i really think things will work out eventually.. n if it was meant to be.. it will be.. if not.. then i believe u will find smone better.. yea..

n to sm other person.. u faster clear the mess k.. dun leave the other person hoping.. ure making her suffer longer..

1:09 PM; unforgotten. Y

Sunday, October 23, 2005

everything seems so similar..

anw alr 3 ppl tell me the same thing.. its getting q freaky hahaz..

"the feeling will fade once...."

and " are u sure its not just..."

exact same words.. ya.. but anw im q sure of it..

hmm i thot of sth else while toking to nat.. tt the moral of the story.. guys.. dun be too nice to gals.. cuz gals tend to fall or smone easily.. i think.. maybe.. hahaz.. m i making sense? haish i think im being an irritant.. oh ya.. 2 ppl also used the same word "irritant" almost at the same time today.. but for different contacts hahaz.. scary..

anw im so sick of pw.. i cant wait for it to end.. bleahz.. so tired.. tho i slpt for 14 hrs.. hahaz from 6pm to 8am this morning.. shuang rites.. duno why still tired.. esp my eyes.. think my degree increased agn.. going blind... sigh..

10:38 PM; unforgotten. Y

hmm stayed over at tiff's place on fri nite.. to do op.. so fun rite.. -.-...we reach her place abt 12.. then waited for zh to deliver my bag hahaz.. by the time we shower finish n tok to them [xr was w him cuz he staying over at zh's] it was alr 1 plus.. n zr was alr super dead.. then we did until abt almost 3 i was more or less konked out le.. hahaz them slpt till 6 plus.. joce also.. then tiff duno do until 5 plus i think then zr took over.. hahaz then 6 plus we all woke up n continue doing then we left arnd 8 lidat.. think our op slides ready le.. but now left the script.. n maybe the video.. unless we doing skit.. sai la.. OP plus fundraising concert plus HK is driving me nuts..

ohoh anw.. halo was q fun.. well done council.. and band managed to sell everything for the fundraising hahaz.. weE way to goO~!

kk gta do all those stuff le.

2:57 PM; unforgotten. Y

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

blardie screwed up.. gt back physics today.. damn blardie screwed up.. thank god for my CT.. pulled me back to at least a D.. i feel damn kexi for it.. i think all the hard earned Bs i gt for CTs will end up as Es this time round.. screwed up..ms khoo told me i dropped alot.. n cud have done better.. but seriously.. i doubt so.. stpd jiu shi stpd..

n thus, i can say gdbye to band next yr.. my mum is going to use this as an excuse to blame band for the lousy results..she's alr showing her stpd black face n daoing me.. for one subject.. i cant imagine wad will happen tml..

i noe is my own damn fault for nt working hard.. n there arent any excuses.. but i just feel damn gek. esp aft sm stpd s09er came into our class n asked "ms khoo i gt a very impt qn! my ct gt 67 or 68? cuz it makes a big diff .. it will give me a 69.4 or 69.6..." or sth lidat.. man i seriously felt like slapping her.. i think my whole class did.. screw those blardie ppl.. wanna ask wait till she go ur class lar.. y must come to our class n ask.. blardie..

well its not like it was unexpected.. but i still feel disappointed.. hu wudnt.. but well.. too bad but damn right im bitching rite now.. BAH!

9:48 PM; unforgotten. Y

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

ahHhh i hate pw! today was pw day.. n we spent the whole day just staring at our laptops doing it.. both me n tiff brgt.. so she n zr was doing the wr... joce lavi n me were doing op... actually dun need de lor.. tt stpd duno hu come n say we suppose to present our op.. but nvm.. at least we accomplished q alot..oh then we realised tt everyone hu were staring at the laptop were frowning.. hahaz pw stresses ppl out...

anw i wanna complain! why the AM always on mc de?! like wanna get sth from her must look for her at least 3 times lar..

haish anw. during op workshop.. we kna same class as S09 ppl la.. w wansun in it too hahaz.. eh i tell u their class alot of gd speakers lar.. then so intimidating.. but i think they are nice ppl.. some of them at least hahaz..haish then for the indiv thing.. i kna sabo.. then so paiseh lar.. screwed up.. n they say i move too much hahaz... jiu ming ah.. nervous mar.. but nvm lar.. suan le..

anw.. i super super worried now.. ms khoo say our class gt 6 failures n 2 failed really badly.. n im sure im one of the 6.. cuz i totally blanked out tt day.. sigh.. not tt im hoping for alot but i really dowana fail... bu i guess no one does.. wad can i do at this pt of time.. sigh.. mei ban fa.. but i really feel v stressed.. n worried.. ='[

[tags]

ZH: wads wrong w the skirt?? nice wads..
yiyou: hahaz i told u le.. is the ppl arnd me ask me to be more gal de.. anw its not v hard for me lar actually.. n u.. say wad jc will becum more gal de.. why i nv see any improvements?? tsktsk..

6:59 PM; unforgotten. Y

Saturday, October 08, 2005

wee these are the stuff i bgt today.. whoa.. spending money nv felt so gd hahaz.. my supply of clothes increased yet agn.. weE hahah

the 37 degrees top.. $21.50

i duno wads the shop name.. but is a very nice 2 layer white top.. q feminine leh.. hope i dun get fat if not not nice le... $32.90

my fav!! the yellow ODF top.. i think the cutting suits me the best lor.. so cute smore >.< $36

morphosis slippers.. need to get sth lady-like to match w the clothes ba.. i 4gt how much it cost but it was sponsored by my mum.. heh

flarie black skirt.. hahaz.. looks tiny but when wear tt time smhow looks longer.. i think im gna match it w the double layer white top!! as u can see.. these stuff are rather feminine.. in case ure wondering why the change.. its a scheme of my sis to make me more gal.. n the ppl arnd me are telling me i shud be more xiao jie liao.. haish.. so oh well..

8:27 PM; unforgotten. Y

end product!

the full image..

left half..

right half..

heh.. nice rites.. oopz abit hou lian pi but i think v cute hahaz the snow man and all.. n goku so keai!!

10:36 AM; unforgotten. Y

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

really hope we get promoted sia..

initials.. where's py looking?!

my ugly handwriting!

i think this one looks the best hahaz

10:30 PM; unforgotten. Y

the darn p thing is overrrrr! wahahaha but it ended terribly... everything i studied for phy, i forgot.. everything i din study.. came out too.. it was a totaly disaster.. ended up crying after the ppr. but hu can i blame but myself for not studying hard enuf.. but well.. i can do nth abt it now.. so i shant brood over it right now..

anw.. went to watch corpse bride!! it was nice.. n hilarious.. it was kinda like a musical hahaz.. but v funny lar.. all the dead ppl.. n the last part v touching!! if u haven watched it.. go watch!!! sigh our class outing was q sad case.. like we split up.. sy cl xh sy c hl they all went to watch the myth... then me tif zr chinnie cy py ah zr went to watch corpse bride lor.. then we went to take neoprint at ps!!! hahaz.. i cant believe xr nv go ps before!! like so no life lar hahaz.. then py was another no life de.. i think he second time go there only.. then he was like.."where's lido/ps??" i nearly fainted.. haha then i think they nv take neoprint before.. gdness so suaku..

but i v happi hahaz..neoprint!! oo anw.. i cant wait for my sister to finish her exams too.. then we can go shopping n take neoprint too!!! weE

oh man i just realised today i spent like 50 over dollars!!! crazy lar.. post exam spending frenzie hahaz..

9:20 PM; unforgotten. Y

Saturday, October 01, 2005

I suddenly thot of sth while studying dynamics.. if we take the earth and all its inhabitants as one system… by principle of conservation of moments.. if a person were to throw an apple downwards to the earth, the acceleration of the apple would be tt of the earth towards the apple.. but since the mass of the apple is so small.. we can see any noticeable change… but I was just thinking, what if the whole population on earth were to go to a single place on earth and started throwing apples towards the earth at the same time.. wud the collective mass of apples show a significant acceleration of the earth towards the apple? Then wudnt it be fun.. to see the apple drop doubly as fast.. [since we cant see the earth moving cuz we’re on it..] like maybe it’ll just go piak on the floor.. ok im not making much sense.. but was just a thot.. hahaz

Ohoh then I was wondering.. if the acceleration of the earth towards the apple due to the g-field of the apple.. but being so small its negligible? Izit izit?? If u noe can tell me? Cuz ive been wondering abt this since the time they thot us this topic.. but I kp forgetting to ask..
Anw.. I bet aft promos im going to be 55kg.. dead.. ive been such a glutton lar.. on fri.. I ate 1 plate of char kway teow and half a plate of chai tao kway.. then today.. breakfast I ate one whole bowl of noodles, then snacked abit.. then lunch.. then snack smore. Then dinner.. then now just eat fruits… best lar.. gdness..i dowana look like a bazhang!!! Which I thnk im starting to.. =’[ sigh.. exam stress..

12:11 AM; unforgotten. Y