Thursday, March 31, 2005
A man was sleeping at night in his
cabin when suddenly his room filled
with light, and God appeared
The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin.
The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. So, this the
man did, day after day.
For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all of his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.
Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary (Satan) decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind:
"You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't moved."
Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure.
These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.
Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving just the minimum effort;
and that will be good enough."
That's what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.
"Lord," he said, "I have laboured long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimetre. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"
The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done."
"Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And
now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so?" Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you
used to have ."
Now I, my friend, will move the rock."
At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when usually what God wants is just a simple obedience and faith in Him. By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God who moves mountains.
When everything
seems to go
wrong ...
just P.U.S.H.!
When the job
gets you down
...
just P.U.S.H.!
When people don't react the way
you think they should ...
just P.U.S.H!
When your money
is "gone" and the
bills are due ...
just P.U.S.H!
When people just don't understand
you ....
just P.U.S.H.
P = Pray
U = Until
S = Something
H = Happens
cabin when suddenly his room filled
with light, and God appeared
The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin.
The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. So, this the
man did, day after day.
For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all of his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.
Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary (Satan) decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind:
"You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't moved."
Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure.
These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.
Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving just the minimum effort;
and that will be good enough."
That's what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.
"Lord," he said, "I have laboured long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimetre. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"
The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done."
"Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And
now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so?" Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you
used to have ."
Now I, my friend, will move the rock."
At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when usually what God wants is just a simple obedience and faith in Him. By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God who moves mountains.
When everything
seems to go
wrong ...
just P.U.S.H.!
When the job
gets you down
...
just P.U.S.H.!
When people don't react the way
you think they should ...
just P.U.S.H!
When your money
is "gone" and the
bills are due ...
just P.U.S.H!
When people just don't understand
you ....
just P.U.S.H.
P = Pray
U = Until
S = Something
H = Happens
7:47 PM; unforgotten.
Y
Sunday, March 27, 2005
haish..i feel realli weird blogging abt this online but the only person i feel reali comfortable abt this izen realli in e mood for this kinda crap now.. so shall just bleah it down here...i noe its abit early but im kinda stuck in a dilemma.. i cant really tell hu i like more between 2 guys..n moreoever.. im afraid of getting into relationships.. firstly cuz of my oh-so-resourceful mum, secondly cuz of a perfect example of getting hurt in a relationship near me..and thirdly..its supposedly too early for relationships
"u will meet alot of other guys when u start working and wad if u meet someone better? u'll tie urself down w a relationship now.. moreoever.. wad abt ur studies.. it shud be ur priority now" - extracted from my mum's almost daily nagging..
ok.. so abt a and b.. haish.. inititally.. i liked a first la.. but i thot my classmate liked him, n he like her.. so i backed off.. cuz im those kind cannot fight w frens de.. so ya.. but every once in a while he'll say sth nice/sweet.. so the feeling kinda nv left.. n a certain smone kpt psychoing me to go for him la..
initially i only started to take notice of b after going for astro n aft tt had parents meeting or sth la.. then he was there n we realised that my sis relieved his class in a lesson b4..so i was pretty amused and started toking to him more.. then as i toked to him i started to find that i cud tell him lots of stuff.. maybe cuz i feel tt there's a link ba.. my sis..then i started to confide in him lor.. then he gave realli good advice stimes and he was rather comforting..
then nt long aft.. i was in some kinda depression.. so mood was realli bad.. n even bball cudnt help me.. then once when everyone went to buy drinks.. b stayed in the bball court w me and sort of tried to cheer me up n asked if everything was ok.. i cant really rem wad he said but i felt q touched.. n i think i started liking b from then.. cuz of his sensitivity and gentleness.. so for a long time i was liking b la.. n came to know of his lame, joker self, and also the brainy, intelligent until abit scary self.. the way his brain works is really scary n i think when im w him i feel q stupid at times.. then v zibei..but at e same time i realli admire his intelligence and confidence in himself..oh n i ou er will find him kinda ke ai haha..
then came results.. n realised tt b wanted to go smwhere else.. cuz he did realli well.. so i was realli realli sad..but at tt pt of time.. i just thot tt i was sad cuz i treated him as a realli good fren.. then i just continued telling him lotsa stuff including the fact tt i was very sad tt he was leaving.. then he sent me sms trying to an wei wo.. n asked me nt to take it too hard n stuff la.. then i felt even mroe sad.. cuz i was q convinced that once he left.. the friendship most prob wud be over la.. n now not much time left le.. then i started to think.. if he realli left.. wud i be realli sad cuz he's a v gd fren? or was there sth else.. n i realised that was an incy wincy bit of sth else..
but soon aft tt.. i started to realise tt he kps playing with n niaoing my gd fren..then i started to suspect he liked her.. abt tt part.. im still nt very sure.. but wad im sure, as i have found out.. my gd fren likes him.. when i first found tt out.. my heart sank.. i nv realli told anyone but i was v v gekked cuz it seems like whenever i liked someone another classmate wud like him..but since it was my gd fren.. n she realli liked him until she cried once becuz of him.. n he seems to like her.. i tried to back off.. n i try to help them la.. but.. i realise as im doing this.. my heart is aching..but wad to do.. mei yuan fen jiu shi mei yuan fen.. n worse still.. now i dun realli dare to tell him everything stimes.. n when i tok to him.. i alwaz feel v guilty cuz like bei pan my fren lidat.. the q a few times.. always end up with me, my gd fren and b.. then i feel so extra.. like po huai ta men de hao shi lidat.. sigh..
anw..then recently.. a came into the picture again..but i realli duno wad he thinking la..blow hot blow cold.. sigh.. then my gd frenz say tt he's hinting.. but i think he's not.. n i dun wana zi zuo duo qing.. but every once in awhile.. he'll ssay sth tt makes me think he's hinting la.. then im not good at baiting as my frens call it.. so i duno wad to do also..i think i v shibai.. anw..aiyar.. alot of things is abt the sms de.. but i think not very safe to say so nvm..but anw.. one nite when i was lying no my bed alr getting ready to slp.. i just jokingly asked him to sings lullaby la.. then he called and, with background music, he sort of sang a short phrase in a joking tone..those of u ive told.. u shud noe hu's a liao..then let me here 25 mins by mltr.. to me its act kinda sweet la.. n my fren agrees.. but maybe is i think too much..n maybe he's just super frenly tts all..
but subsequently.. a continued being realli nice la.. but i started to think maybe he was treating me like a lil sis.. cuz he reALly has a younger sis.. then im jst as childish as her or sth.. so.. ya.. n e worse is.. of my two gd frens.. one is upportive of him.. e other is not.. so im like.. so how?! cuz i duno abt myself.. =x..
then ytdae.. my gd fren, e one hu likes b..[ya she noes i like b too..] whether now i like a or b.. n seriously speaking.. i think i like b more.. i duno why.. tho b seems to be realli hard to tok to stimes [esp now i have the impression he likes my gd fren..] n gives me e feeling tt he doesnt wanna tok to me anymore.. haish im such a dumbo.. OHOH i forgot.. v long ago.. i took sth of b's and he said take lor.. since u like it so much.. then i was q shocked la.. n q happi also.. cuz i realli like tt thing la.. then i duno if it meant anything.. but now.. its my greatest regret! cuz apparently duno when.. b told my good fren that if i hadnt took it.. he wud have given it to her.. then i feel so super guilty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the horror.. man.. tho both of them said they were joking la.. but its q obvious im being extra le.. i noe they are so much more compatible..but.. i just.. cant help myself from liking him tts all.. izit evil of me...? =x
sigh.. i feel like shit now..
"u will meet alot of other guys when u start working and wad if u meet someone better? u'll tie urself down w a relationship now.. moreoever.. wad abt ur studies.. it shud be ur priority now" - extracted from my mum's almost daily nagging..
ok.. so abt a and b.. haish.. inititally.. i liked a first la.. but i thot my classmate liked him, n he like her.. so i backed off.. cuz im those kind cannot fight w frens de.. so ya.. but every once in a while he'll say sth nice/sweet.. so the feeling kinda nv left.. n a certain smone kpt psychoing me to go for him la..
initially i only started to take notice of b after going for astro n aft tt had parents meeting or sth la.. then he was there n we realised that my sis relieved his class in a lesson b4..so i was pretty amused and started toking to him more.. then as i toked to him i started to find that i cud tell him lots of stuff.. maybe cuz i feel tt there's a link ba.. my sis..then i started to confide in him lor.. then he gave realli good advice stimes and he was rather comforting..
then nt long aft.. i was in some kinda depression.. so mood was realli bad.. n even bball cudnt help me.. then once when everyone went to buy drinks.. b stayed in the bball court w me and sort of tried to cheer me up n asked if everything was ok.. i cant really rem wad he said but i felt q touched.. n i think i started liking b from then.. cuz of his sensitivity and gentleness.. so for a long time i was liking b la.. n came to know of his lame, joker self, and also the brainy, intelligent until abit scary self.. the way his brain works is really scary n i think when im w him i feel q stupid at times.. then v zibei..but at e same time i realli admire his intelligence and confidence in himself..oh n i ou er will find him kinda ke ai haha..
then came results.. n realised tt b wanted to go smwhere else.. cuz he did realli well.. so i was realli realli sad..but at tt pt of time.. i just thot tt i was sad cuz i treated him as a realli good fren.. then i just continued telling him lotsa stuff including the fact tt i was very sad tt he was leaving.. then he sent me sms trying to an wei wo.. n asked me nt to take it too hard n stuff la.. then i felt even mroe sad.. cuz i was q convinced that once he left.. the friendship most prob wud be over la.. n now not much time left le.. then i started to think.. if he realli left.. wud i be realli sad cuz he's a v gd fren? or was there sth else.. n i realised that was an incy wincy bit of sth else..
but soon aft tt.. i started to realise tt he kps playing with n niaoing my gd fren..then i started to suspect he liked her.. abt tt part.. im still nt very sure.. but wad im sure, as i have found out.. my gd fren likes him.. when i first found tt out.. my heart sank.. i nv realli told anyone but i was v v gekked cuz it seems like whenever i liked someone another classmate wud like him..but since it was my gd fren.. n she realli liked him until she cried once becuz of him.. n he seems to like her.. i tried to back off.. n i try to help them la.. but.. i realise as im doing this.. my heart is aching..but wad to do.. mei yuan fen jiu shi mei yuan fen.. n worse still.. now i dun realli dare to tell him everything stimes.. n when i tok to him.. i alwaz feel v guilty cuz like bei pan my fren lidat.. the q a few times.. always end up with me, my gd fren and b.. then i feel so extra.. like po huai ta men de hao shi lidat.. sigh..
anw..then recently.. a came into the picture again..but i realli duno wad he thinking la..blow hot blow cold.. sigh.. then my gd frenz say tt he's hinting.. but i think he's not.. n i dun wana zi zuo duo qing.. but every once in awhile.. he'll ssay sth tt makes me think he's hinting la.. then im not good at baiting as my frens call it.. so i duno wad to do also..i think i v shibai.. anw..aiyar.. alot of things is abt the sms de.. but i think not very safe to say so nvm..but anw.. one nite when i was lying no my bed alr getting ready to slp.. i just jokingly asked him to sings lullaby la.. then he called and, with background music, he sort of sang a short phrase in a joking tone..those of u ive told.. u shud noe hu's a liao..then let me here 25 mins by mltr.. to me its act kinda sweet la.. n my fren agrees.. but maybe is i think too much..n maybe he's just super frenly tts all..
but subsequently.. a continued being realli nice la.. but i started to think maybe he was treating me like a lil sis.. cuz he reALly has a younger sis.. then im jst as childish as her or sth.. so.. ya.. n e worse is.. of my two gd frens.. one is upportive of him.. e other is not.. so im like.. so how?! cuz i duno abt myself.. =x..
then ytdae.. my gd fren, e one hu likes b..[ya she noes i like b too..] whether now i like a or b.. n seriously speaking.. i think i like b more.. i duno why.. tho b seems to be realli hard to tok to stimes [esp now i have the impression he likes my gd fren..] n gives me e feeling tt he doesnt wanna tok to me anymore.. haish im such a dumbo.. OHOH i forgot.. v long ago.. i took sth of b's and he said take lor.. since u like it so much.. then i was q shocked la.. n q happi also.. cuz i realli like tt thing la.. then i duno if it meant anything.. but now.. its my greatest regret! cuz apparently duno when.. b told my good fren that if i hadnt took it.. he wud have given it to her.. then i feel so super guilty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the horror.. man.. tho both of them said they were joking la.. but its q obvious im being extra le.. i noe they are so much more compatible..but.. i just.. cant help myself from liking him tts all.. izit evil of me...? =x
sigh.. i feel like shit now..
5:10 PM; unforgotten.
Y
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Don't worry if you have problems! Which is easy to say until you are in the midst of a really big one, I know.
But the only people I am aware of whodon't have troubles are gathered in little neighborhoods. Most communitieshave at least one. We call them cemeteries.
If you're breathing, you have difficulties. It's the way of life. Andbelieve it or not, most of your problems may actually be good for you! Let me explain.
Maybe you have seen the Great Barrier Reef, stretching some 1,800 milesfrom New Guinea to Australia. Tour guides regularly take visitors to viewthe reef.
On one tour, the guide was asked an interesting question. "Inotice that the lagoon side of the reef looks pale and lifeless, while theocean side is vibrant and colorful," a traveler observed. "Why is this?"
The guide gave an interesting answer: "The coral around the lagoon side isin still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early.
Thecoral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms -surges of power. It has to fight for survival every day of its life. As it is challenged and tested, it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It growsstrong. And it reproduces."
Then he added this telling note: "That's theway it is with every living organism."
That's how it is with people. Challenged and tested, we come alive! Like coral pounded by the sea, we grow. Physical demands can cause us to growstronger. Mental and emotional stress can produce tough-mindedness andresiliency. Spiritual testing can produce strength of character andfaithfulness.
So, you have problems - no problem! Just tell yourself, "Here I grow again"
But the only people I am aware of whodon't have troubles are gathered in little neighborhoods. Most communitieshave at least one. We call them cemeteries.
If you're breathing, you have difficulties. It's the way of life. Andbelieve it or not, most of your problems may actually be good for you! Let me explain.
Maybe you have seen the Great Barrier Reef, stretching some 1,800 milesfrom New Guinea to Australia. Tour guides regularly take visitors to viewthe reef.
On one tour, the guide was asked an interesting question. "Inotice that the lagoon side of the reef looks pale and lifeless, while theocean side is vibrant and colorful," a traveler observed. "Why is this?"
The guide gave an interesting answer: "The coral around the lagoon side isin still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early.
Thecoral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms -surges of power. It has to fight for survival every day of its life. As it is challenged and tested, it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It growsstrong. And it reproduces."
Then he added this telling note: "That's theway it is with every living organism."
That's how it is with people. Challenged and tested, we come alive! Like coral pounded by the sea, we grow. Physical demands can cause us to growstronger. Mental and emotional stress can produce tough-mindedness andresiliency. Spiritual testing can produce strength of character andfaithfulness.
So, you have problems - no problem! Just tell yourself, "Here I grow again"
10:05 PM; unforgotten.
Y
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
well.. today was the last day our class is as wad we knew it for the first 3 months.. n its pretty sad actually.. only 15 confirm staying.. 3 appeal cases shud be confirm successful le i think.. 6 confirm leaving.. sigh.. actually not bad le.. i heard of a class w only 6 ppl hu stayed.. which is q sad.. anw..i really regret not asking the whole class to go out.. everyone just went their own separate paths.. which is pretty sad..i cant help thinking of the time spent w grace n weeloon.. really wish they din have to go..sigh.. thats the end of our first 3 mths..
but it iS also a whole new beginning..new class new frens.. tho i hope things stay pretty much the same.. im a person with great psychological inertia.. hate changes.. im afraid i will be biased against the new comers.. cuz i see them as ppl hu replaced the ppl hu left.. im act q angry.. bleah.. a few of the ny ppl im close too left for hc too.. i duno if i regret it or not.. sigh.. hc..
but it iS also a whole new beginning..new class new frens.. tho i hope things stay pretty much the same.. im a person with great psychological inertia.. hate changes.. im afraid i will be biased against the new comers.. cuz i see them as ppl hu replaced the ppl hu left.. im act q angry.. bleah.. a few of the ny ppl im close too left for hc too.. i duno if i regret it or not.. sigh.. hc..
8:01 PM; unforgotten.
Y
Sunday, March 20, 2005
its been quite some time since i last blog.. sigh maybe cuz there hasnt been anything interesting or memorable for me to blog abt? or maybe i was plain lazy..
im kinda disappointed in nj, the band, as well as my class.. i was so super convinced nj rocked like hell.. maybe thats why the impact hits really hard on me now.. the disappointment i mean.. sigh.. im really worried for the band la.. even ny has more or less learned their piece well and are still improving on it..and i heard rv n yuhua played really well during sat's exchange too.. but tts besides the point..i noe im only a minor and shudnt say much.. but i really need to say sth la.. so if u snrs are arnd.. can pretend dun see this.. or u really can dun read this..
i think the band has no discipline..i cant stand it when ppl continue playing for an entire phase or more after the conductor stop conducting.. tts wasting of precious time cuz the conductor dun get to comment on wad was just played.. n stimes ppl just like to show off..which is irritating.. in nycb.. if ppl so much as played 3 bars extra..they wud have gotten scolding le.. smhow.. nth is said abt this in nj..maybe im just too strict ba.. but thats partly cuz of the no. of band prac we have? 2 per week is act very little if u ask me..tho it will increase alot more as it nears syf.. but.. since theres so little time.. i thot ppl will be more serious la..maybe i myself cant play well.. so i shud just shut up too.. but oh well.. ive gt a big mouth..
and my class.. sigh after some ppl leave.. i think there will be odd gaps in the class.. n im pretty convinced that my class is unenthu.. n its quite tiring to be the one to kp pushing them to go for outings and stuff esp when they dun react or turn up.. its physically mentally and financially exhausting.. and in the end.. i just look like a bad tempered volcano always erupting..
i duno la.. recently.. ive started to think abt whther hc wud be a better place for me.. i noe abit late le.. but can always try my luck appealing.. cuz nowadays.. i end up confiding in my sec4 classmates.. n tho they are kinda far and duno wads going on in my life.. when i tell them stuff.. they can relate to it and they understand.. then i can feel the warmth that i have NV felt in nj.. ppl kp telling me to give myself n the class more time.. n i guess it iS true that im just trying to escape into my safety zone by wanting to go hc where all my frens are.. but.. escapism is not a crime is it?
i kinda told nat this.. n she said if i go she'll go w me.. i was kinda touched la.. tho there are many underlying factors to that statement i guess.. but nevertheless.. it was nice to see sth lidat.. n i think she kinda told _ and i think they quarelled? so i feel kinda guilty.. sorry.. i hope there wun be any hatred directed towards me..
anw.. i wud like to take the chance to express my gratitude to steph, yiyou, sher, yinger and nat for being such great friends..
im kinda disappointed in nj, the band, as well as my class.. i was so super convinced nj rocked like hell.. maybe thats why the impact hits really hard on me now.. the disappointment i mean.. sigh.. im really worried for the band la.. even ny has more or less learned their piece well and are still improving on it..and i heard rv n yuhua played really well during sat's exchange too.. but tts besides the point..i noe im only a minor and shudnt say much.. but i really need to say sth la.. so if u snrs are arnd.. can pretend dun see this.. or u really can dun read this..
i think the band has no discipline..i cant stand it when ppl continue playing for an entire phase or more after the conductor stop conducting.. tts wasting of precious time cuz the conductor dun get to comment on wad was just played.. n stimes ppl just like to show off..which is irritating.. in nycb.. if ppl so much as played 3 bars extra..they wud have gotten scolding le.. smhow.. nth is said abt this in nj..maybe im just too strict ba.. but thats partly cuz of the no. of band prac we have? 2 per week is act very little if u ask me..tho it will increase alot more as it nears syf.. but.. since theres so little time.. i thot ppl will be more serious la..maybe i myself cant play well.. so i shud just shut up too.. but oh well.. ive gt a big mouth..
and my class.. sigh after some ppl leave.. i think there will be odd gaps in the class.. n im pretty convinced that my class is unenthu.. n its quite tiring to be the one to kp pushing them to go for outings and stuff esp when they dun react or turn up.. its physically mentally and financially exhausting.. and in the end.. i just look like a bad tempered volcano always erupting..
i duno la.. recently.. ive started to think abt whther hc wud be a better place for me.. i noe abit late le.. but can always try my luck appealing.. cuz nowadays.. i end up confiding in my sec4 classmates.. n tho they are kinda far and duno wads going on in my life.. when i tell them stuff.. they can relate to it and they understand.. then i can feel the warmth that i have NV felt in nj.. ppl kp telling me to give myself n the class more time.. n i guess it iS true that im just trying to escape into my safety zone by wanting to go hc where all my frens are.. but.. escapism is not a crime is it?
i kinda told nat this.. n she said if i go she'll go w me.. i was kinda touched la.. tho there are many underlying factors to that statement i guess.. but nevertheless.. it was nice to see sth lidat.. n i think she kinda told _ and i think they quarelled? so i feel kinda guilty.. sorry.. i hope there wun be any hatred directed towards me..
anw.. i wud like to take the chance to express my gratitude to steph, yiyou, sher, yinger and nat for being such great friends..
6:21 PM; unforgotten.
Y
Friday, March 04, 2005
The Goddess of Night and Regret. You are a perfect
confidante. Always understanding and
solicitous, you could be a queen and you are
exceptionally honest. You are an intelligent
beauty.
Which gorgeous goddess are you? For girls! (breath taking pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Hang on a sec! You're not an angel! You're a
goddess! Always the leader in your group of
friends you are the one to go to in a crisis,
your advice is valuable if you give it out,
which is only if you feel people deserve it. Go
you!
Which natural angel are you? (awe-inspiring pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
You are the Spirit of Love. You think around
romance and are extremely compassionate.
Whenever you want something you can get it due
to your fiery passion. You can make friends
quite easily, because peopole are attracted to
your obvious good nature. You will have no
trouble in finding a life partner and will be
very happy.
Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? NEW AND IMPROVED! (amazingly beautiful anime pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
BLUE
??Which colour of Death is yours??
brought to you by Quizilla
11:27 PM; unforgotten.
Y
haish.. today one of my classmate officially announced he going hc.. im super sad.. haish.. why izit tt its the ppl im closer to who are leaving.. im vvv sad!! first grace n yanting, then now wl.. i v gek.. haish.. why.. im super sad.. i feel like a dormant volcano which will erupt pretty soon.. i wanna fa pi qi at him n just cry everything out.. for the past 2 days i havent been able to smile much...ppl kp taking turns to announce they not staying..
haish.. they kp saying.. its nth big wad.. its just across e road.. n anytime can meet up n stuff.. but by experience.. im q sure tts just empty tok..the possibility of that happening is q low.. sighhhh...im such a fool.. why do i even care if they are staying anot.. i shud be just cold blooded n not be bothered abt other ppl.. then i wun be so affected by their decisions.. n so.. wun be so sad.. but sadly.. im a very emotional person.. n i just cant stop all these feelings from gushing out.. n when tt happens..[+ low glucose level] my face is pretty much black..
im so sorry for the ppl arnd me.. have to look at my stupid idiotic face.. sorry ah nat.. but i think i can only tell u all those stuff..duno why.. dnu feel like toking to anyone else.. eel q anti social..stimes.. being alone is nice.. once again.. my blog address can fully express my existence.. emotional solitude.. haish..
haish.. they kp saying.. its nth big wad.. its just across e road.. n anytime can meet up n stuff.. but by experience.. im q sure tts just empty tok..the possibility of that happening is q low.. sighhhh...im such a fool.. why do i even care if they are staying anot.. i shud be just cold blooded n not be bothered abt other ppl.. then i wun be so affected by their decisions.. n so.. wun be so sad.. but sadly.. im a very emotional person.. n i just cant stop all these feelings from gushing out.. n when tt happens..[+ low glucose level] my face is pretty much black..
im so sorry for the ppl arnd me.. have to look at my stupid idiotic face.. sorry ah nat.. but i think i can only tell u all those stuff..duno why.. dnu feel like toking to anyone else.. eel q anti social..stimes.. being alone is nice.. once again.. my blog address can fully express my existence.. emotional solitude.. haish..
10:27 PM; unforgotten.
Y
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
if i knew things wud turn up lidat i wud have rather not go to any jc for first 3 mths.. rather than going and making good frens and by the end of 3 mths.. everyone leaves.. im super sad an angry!!!!!!!
those tt did well n got 6 pts.. are planning to leave nj for greener pastures out there.. others hu din do so well may not be able to stay!! just like donaphan said.. i noe its a cold hard fact but i just hate it.. then wad abt ppl like me.. stay in nj n see ppl go.. so basically now.. im staying cuz of band n other snrs.. cuz everyone else seems to be unsure.. wth.. im freaking pissed.. i noe u all will say.. u shud be glad for them if they wanna leave for a better place.. I NOE.. but i ban bu dao.. sorry.. i noe im emotional but tts me..
n i just found out grace planning to go hc.. bah!! i very sad!! she's like the first good fren i amde in nj.. then she make me very gan dong n everything i really enjoy her company.. then still rem she came to my house n bake choc cake n all those stuff.. wehh.. i cant stop crying.. i very very sad...
wads worse.. i just read qingyang's blog.. i noe its his pov n stuff la.. but i seriously not the type hu agrees w his thinking all that much.. nt everyone gets spurred on that way.. many may just end up giving up.. for me.. i noe whther im lousy or not.. i dun need ppl to tell me i m..n maybe cuz of my competitiveness, i may agree w the altho i got "ok" results.. i'll say its lousy.. but i dun think constant criticism works, because soon enuf, you'll just be convinced of it.. or you'll be so caught up w it until u miss out on other things arnd u.. ah well.. tts just my opinion la.. i dun care if other ppl disagrees..
those tt did well n got 6 pts.. are planning to leave nj for greener pastures out there.. others hu din do so well may not be able to stay!! just like donaphan said.. i noe its a cold hard fact but i just hate it.. then wad abt ppl like me.. stay in nj n see ppl go.. so basically now.. im staying cuz of band n other snrs.. cuz everyone else seems to be unsure.. wth.. im freaking pissed.. i noe u all will say.. u shud be glad for them if they wanna leave for a better place.. I NOE.. but i ban bu dao.. sorry.. i noe im emotional but tts me..
n i just found out grace planning to go hc.. bah!! i very sad!! she's like the first good fren i amde in nj.. then she make me very gan dong n everything i really enjoy her company.. then still rem she came to my house n bake choc cake n all those stuff.. wehh.. i cant stop crying.. i very very sad...
wads worse.. i just read qingyang's blog.. i noe its his pov n stuff la.. but i seriously not the type hu agrees w his thinking all that much.. nt everyone gets spurred on that way.. many may just end up giving up.. for me.. i noe whther im lousy or not.. i dun need ppl to tell me i m..n maybe cuz of my competitiveness, i may agree w the altho i got "ok" results.. i'll say its lousy.. but i dun think constant criticism works, because soon enuf, you'll just be convinced of it.. or you'll be so caught up w it until u miss out on other things arnd u.. ah well.. tts just my opinion la.. i dun care if other ppl disagrees..
12:28 PM; unforgotten.
Y
