*sOLitUdE* _____//*~in.my.own.fairytale.~*

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

ahh time is passing too fast too fast for my liking.. tt day was talking to nat on the bus.. haish then i suddenly think.. its nt gna be too long before we become snrs.. n we concluded being snrs suck.. its so fun being jnrs.. haish.. maybe cuz we always have such dependable snrs.. i dun think we'll able to live up to that kinda reputation n obtain the same amt as respect..

anw.. went back to ny today.. saw many familiar and friendly faces.. felt so comfortable n at home in ny.. nt a least bit of being out..everyone were so happy to see each other.. guess we really miss the old times.. i heard many of them are not as happy in jc.. even to the extent of not being their normal crazy self.. hahaz..sigh.. ny rox. always and will be our home..

a glorious number of 18 of us went to eat lunch at scotts.. tts half our class! nt too bad considering we din plan anything..=] we went to eat crystal jade.. yummy.. took pics too.. weeee sher and weeleng are still as chio as ever.. too bad yinger din come w us cuz stpd hc still gt dance la..anw.. yiyou's grown abit.. and more feminine too.. but still v nice! hahaz however, i felt tt she was rather quiet today.. duno if theres anything wrong or she's just tired.. well hope is the latter.. emily is still her cute quiet self hahaz giving then calm smile every once in awhile..=] hmm.. act on the whole.. everyone's still basically the same.. felt so nice to be with them again =D love all u ppl from 409! we ROCK! hahaz *hugs* =']

anw.. just felt like saying thanx to u ppl.. for giving me such a wonderful and fun time tru sec3 and 4.. n today really meant q alot to me.. cuz i've been feeling rather down every once in awhile in jc..

saw yanzhen [band].. hahaz tt girl is still as silly n no confidence as ever.. stimes i see myself in her.. well.. duno lar.. but i love the smell of nycb bandroom!! so much nicer. the nicenice polished parquet flooring.. the nicenice cupboards... the nicenice stands.. the nicenice nest between the perc n tbone cupboards.. hahaz..

realise that i shud spend too much time reminiscing abt the past.. cuz i may be missing out on wads gd now.. but.. i realise i dun dare to do things in nj as freely as we did in ny.. last time all the stpd mass dances and taiji stuff.. however stpd it looked.. we still did it n enjoyed laughing at ourselves.. here. i duno.. smhow i just dun dare to do stuff.. even during first 3 mths i dared to dance the mass dance n enjoy it.. maybe cuz grace was there.. but now.. i dun dare to do anything.. n anw.. i feel that anything i do will be under surveillance.. ah well.. nvm.. haish..

time is precious.. treasure it. cherish every moment u have with ur family n frens...

4:41 PM; unforgotten. Y

Friday, August 26, 2005

sigh.. i feel stupider n stupider as each day passes.. i dun understand bio, chem and physics stimes..my vocab sucks too.. math is no need to say le..my tone and sight-reading sucks.. i get lost 10 times in one page of score.. bleahhh why am i so useless?! im like gd for nth! n im nt even a gd fren.. everyone hates me..

today had chem remedial after lunch.. realise i forgot everything abt chem bonding.. when tiff looked at me.. i felt as tho like i was asking stupid qns tt even 3 year old kids wud noe.. tts how bad i am.. n aft tt was physics n i felt even more stupid..

aft sight reading tt two pieces w him arnd i feel super zibei.. he also side reading then so zai.. he n the other him too.. and her too.. aiyar they are ALL very zai.. all except me..

decided to go home.. otherwise i'd have probably cried there.. then when i was going home.. my laptop was weighing down on my shoulders so badly tt i felt so burdened.. this sort of reminded me of the parallelism between this and my uncertainties and fears..sigh.. im tired.. n im nt even at the peak of all the events.. gd luck in my life sia..

7:10 PM; unforgotten. Y

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

haish.. today had parent-teacher meeting.. then aft sch i str away go band room clear up the drawers n swept the floor cuz tml alvin leong checking..then i nv check my hp at all.. i fgt all abt ptm.. then i check my hp aft sweeping the floor.. shit 14 missed calls.. then i call back.. then saw my mum coming to band room will a realy stinky look.. lucky i went out before she stormed in.. otherwise it wud have been really bad.. anw.. so i gt scolded cuz sm gal told her tt there is no ms khoo or ms khoo wun be arnd today.. then my mum blamed me for not making arrangements.. so i called my teacher and everything WAS planned and my parents were just early tts all.. so i brgt my mum up.. then i saw my dad's even blacker face.. how nice.. haish so blah blah gt scolded.. see black face.

this is yet another incident my mum wud rather trust smone else she duno/dun really noe than me.. well.. guess i'll always be tt gal of hers hu will nv grow up n continue being rebellious and stuff like tt.. i really feel like going back to my zibi self again. its getting harder n harder to be happy.. the whole of today i was on the verge of crying or pulling all my hair out.. most prob be bald by age 30..

ms khoo says tt as long as i can maintain this standard, all will be ok.. but tts the worse part.. i cant maintain this standard.. i understand nuts now..

how i wish i can follow wad liyuan crapped abt quitting sch.. nowadays.. the things tt make me really feel relaxed or give a quiet smile wud be things like the fragrance in my room.. my pooh bear cushion.. butterflies flying arnd.. little animals.. duno.. just things tts are free and really alive.. nature basically.. just watching them makes me smile..

tt day kirby saud tt sm snrs n j1s worried abt me.. feel like saying theres nth to worry abt.. but guess it wudnt really be convincing wud it.. sigh.. but thx anw.. but a zibi-er will always be a zibi-er at heart...

8:33 PM; unforgotten. Y

Friday, August 12, 2005

hahaz yayyy today is a big chiobu's bday!! nono is TWO chiobus bday.. happy bday ivy!!! anw.. im really happy.. one of the best few bdays ive had..

firstly.. thanks to all those ppl hu stayed up last nite to wish me happy bday arnd midnite.. hahaz.. thankew yulei cheeyen xinran samuel sher yiyou deb rochelle joanne youzhi..

secondly.. thanks to all those ppl hu sms-ed their bday greetings! many of u i thot wud forget my bday alr. hahaz so really thx alot... yanzhen yiyou sister camillus gwen sheila candy eevien weeloon esther alex yasi natalie yushu jenyi vivian..

thirdly.. thanks to njcsb exco 05 + dency!!! really really touched!! but u all bluff me lar.. joanne asked kirby to bluff me say wad mr leong wanna meet us at lunch time. then just so happen this morning he came to tok to kirby then i really believe n thot we were gna get scolding.. so i gt to the bandrm during lunch.. while walking towards the bandrm. i cudnt really see properly cuz my contacts v weird.. then i thot i saw kirby.. then the person disappeared.. then when i reach.. kirby came down the stairs.. i asked him he say is not him.. then he still say duno why mr leong why wanna look for us.. then i gt abit worried lo.. then suddenly the rest of them come down w a cake n singing a bday song.. i was sososo surprised lar.. so far no one has done this for me b4.. the closest thing was yiyou and sher's tub of icecream hahaz.. anw.. the choc cake v nice!!! xiexie.. really sry ah. like trouble u all alotalot lidat.. smore must spend so much money!! duibuqi.. but really thx!!!!!! u guys rock! i vvvv gandong..

then thx to 05S21.. for the wonderful card filled w such cute writings n pics.. the class gals for the CutE poohbear cushion, which siangyong wanted to steal so many times.. hahaz thx to pinyuan cheeyen n xinran for the other 2 poohbears.. thx to cheeyen for the naruto keychains.. thx to jenyi for the samurai x cards..=]

especially thx to yulei.. for being so tolerant w my bad temper.. n getting a ring engraved with "van".. it must have cost alot.. really thanx alot.. sry for all those times i was being so childish n petty..

9:07 PM; unforgotten. Y

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

weEss today had band J1 steamboat outing.. we werent expecting many to go.. so 11 was q an ok number.. hahaz not bad le.. smore is so last minute de..

anw before that had pw then do until abt 2 sth.. do until damn sian.. so hard to find the books lar.. bleahs.. so i had nth to do from 2 sth until 530.. then i call joanne they all hoping to go find them.. then she "haR!" so loud.. i thot she dun like me tts why dowan me to go.. then she say. cuz they buying my present tts why.. then i duno whther to laugh or cry hahaz.. then tiffany was at the side saying "aiyoo.. still haven buy ah.." n joanne was asking her to shuddup hahaz

anw so i mei ban fa have to ask the other ppl i noe hu are going for the steamboat.. which means samuel chingtong kirby.. but kirby din reply.. so end up only the first 2 can go out earlier.. then i purposely take the red line to orchard to waste time.. i reach le and kna pull to a survey by prudential... samuel still at yio chu kang chingtong still at buona vista.. by the time they reach.. alr 4 lidat.. then i called joanne realise she at ps.. so we went ps.. then at ps we took NeoPriNT! hahaz.. samuel gave his first time to us hahaz.. tt was wad shuheng said. except she said it in chinese.. sounded so wrong hahahah.. but anw.. samuel really v ben!! he duno where to look and when to look n where to stand.. then gt a few duno where he looking de.. hahaz.. so funny.. oh sry forgot to say.. the few of us were - cindy angela shuheng huizhong joanne me [eh i just realise two from each section] samuel and chingtong.. yeps..

haish then we rushed to marina bay to find only dency and apri there.. in the end it was this few plus kirby only.. so most of us were alr tgt when we arrived at marina bay hahaz..then we took bus realise doesnt stop at the place cuz of the carnival.. so must walk v far.. anw so we gt there and ate alot.. kirby treated drinks!! wahah.. oh n i found out joanne is a terrible cook.. in the sense that her hygience is super bad.. she will like put her dirty spoon into the soup to wash it.. then she drop alot of the food.. then she kp adding raw seafood into the soup when we wanna drink the soup.. so yar.. if tml we all nv go to sch or get food poisoning.. we noe why.. hahaz

oh then samuel kp making food for joanne.. new target?? hahaz.. hmm anw.. joanne was the stingray maker.. dency was the pork chop maker.. i was the pork chop assistant.. shuheng was the prawn shell peeler.. apri was the crab chopper.. angela was the prawn eater, samuel was the kong ba pao eater.. wahahha damn funny la.. but i see he eat until v xinku like wana puke le..

then we took q alot of photos.. or rather i took alot of photos.. of ppl hahaz n food n mess..then our hands so oily make until our cams so oily then even the pics we take gt oil stains so sad.. oh then they played one round of daytona.. they all v lihai act hahaz.. but kirby change gear tt time v cool.. gt drift.. apri also.. but he dun need to change gear cuz he play auto hahaz.. in the end is kirby samuel apri angela chingtong. hahaz.. chingtong must b v sad.. anw.. kirby v evil.. he say he v happy when he crash samuel.. hahaz..

haish now to the sad part.. on our way home at the mrt.. i finaly realise how stpd i m.. i din noe marina bay both sides go same place.. i thot there was a straight train to JE from marina.. i nv knew bkt batok was near bkt timah, i nv knew toh tuck was near bkt batok, i nv knew kirby stayed in bkt batok... i nv knew they were all in the centre of singapore.. haish i feel so so so stpd. then make until i now v sad.. hyper bu qi lai..then why kirby take opp side while shihying n yulei take nj side when going home? then why kirby take 15 mins to go home then tt time we go melvin house take so long.. whyyy???

ohoh my mama just made nicenice fresh orange juice for me.. then i feel sooooo much better.. happier n hyper-er hahaz yayyy

10:13 PM; unforgotten. Y

Sunday, August 07, 2005

haish i feel v lonely.. as in like.. everytime i gt alot of xinshi.. i duno hu to tell.. partly is cuz i dowan to.. partly is cuz i cant..then i realise tho now im getting more n more hyper.. my neixin shijie is getting more n more gu pi.. which is bad..haish zhe me ban?? but anw.. i feel a sense of accomplishment cuz i finally changed the blog template for my nycb-eupho blog.. i sortof messed up the last one n it looked horrible.. now is those realli realli cute kind.. hahaz v happy..

oh ytd went to play pool w the guys.. so super awkward la.. i was realli the onli girl there.. cuz joanne shuheng they all went to buy erm my present then aft tt need to go kallang i think.. then nat gt pw.. shihying buy reed then zhao liao the rest duno bu jian dao la li qu.. haish but i gt realli pissed off w dx.. totally dao him the whole day.. but the other ppl were realli nice.. lucky gt nice one lars.. realise i always w them de.. cuz they always the last few to leave the band room too.. i think i realli suck at pool.. n the last time i played was in march.. hahaz oopz.. aiyar nvm.. dun need to be realli gd at it. wun take me anywhere anw.. haish.. yeps.. jiu shi zhe yang

oh but today.. my qi xiao le.. so said sry to dx..cuz i think i also abit guofen..

8:24 PM; unforgotten. Y

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

im seriously freaked out by S09 and S15.. they are crazy.. ppl are completing assignments way beyond me.. there are at a pace i dare not even think of trying to attain.. haish its a stupid vicious cycle.. S09 are naturally muggers.. S15 see they so pia.. the also start to pia.. n i really mean pia.. then ppl like xinran will follow his brother and pia too.. then poor me.. hu noes ppl from S09 n S15 AND sits beside xinran.. see all of them piaing n its driving me nuts.. i got so stressed up today.. when i was sitting outside the band room today i finally started tearing.. thanks to joanne for her comforting advice.. but i really cant get the worrywart out of me..

8:47 PM; unforgotten. Y